Wn Ng 19

Something tells me this is going to be the best year ever, said no one over the age of 15. 
 - way to scumble an introduction - 
Hey! It's true
- why dwell in the cruel trench of reality -
The internets are full of it.  Muckraking so persistent that eyes burn all the way down to my throat.
- woah, slow down.  Point being: diversify the content- 
Said lots of guys who smell like freshly opened boxes of Vans sneakers.
- well try again -

This New Year’s day evening I was chilling at home watching Magnum and taking tokes notes during commercials to fill the weird existential void, which is, admittedly, what commercials are for, but I hate being sold things.

Better?
-better- 
Outside the cats were frozen in Siberia, so 1980’s Hawaii seemed like the kind of summer vacation I skipped this year in order to work harder.  Yes, murders were occurring.  Be jealous that my vicarious vacations are more interesting than your real ones.  What is a vacation without death?
-easy big fella-

My notes consisted of doodles of pretty girls and myself as Magnum, complete with Tigers cap and mustache.  As I am not an artist, this was not going well, and obvious directions to steer the restless night energy were not apparent.
-look elsewhere-
 Lopez and Peggy where also there.
-oh good, yer not alone.  you are alone too much man-

They‘re friends from work. More were expected, none had shown by midnight and we were feeling too chill to move.
       “I try to save money,” sayeth Lopez, “by not drinking, not smoking, not going out not—"
       “Not being at all interesting” I inter erupted.  Lopez said sure.  “Sure means no.  Sur means sea.  Si means yes.  Si si, see, she sells seashells by the sur shore.”
-where 'ya goin' with this, Tex?-
I’m bored.  So bored.  So sue me.

       “Sure.  So,” continueth Lopez, “I was gonna say, before you so surely inter erupted me, that I try to save money by not drinking, smoking, or going out, and here at your place I don’t have to pay any cash at all to do all three.”
       “So long as you think of this place like home.”
       “True.  You did say, ‘make yourself at home’.”
Peggy said she admired Magnum's short shorts.

An ex-girlfriend (who has recently taken up Tinder again) texted me that she'd matched with a) lots of guys b) one of my other ex girlfriends and c) a very fetching golden retriever.  What an powerful punch of an ego boost that text was.
-sarcasm?-

Magnum blundered around talking to himself (and his Ferrari) and eventually he figured it all out and I blundered into the kitchen talking to myself about capitalism and unplanned pregnancies and shuffled the bottles on the bar around and eventually settled for a tumbler of gin. 
-it was mint to be-

Don’t you start in on that now too!

When I came back out Peggy and Lopez had taken up the PS4 controls.  Peggy was describing the character she would play.

       "The machine is at your fingertips," declareth Lopez.  I decided to lie down.  There can only be two players.

-the system mandates its own binary narrative and calls it choice-

Disappointed more people didn’t show. An acute wave of self-pity, feeling suddenly sick, and starving. I wanted to write a long tearful text to my nephew about how bad life is, text my ex with thirst, text my friends who didn’t come, text cc all I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND HELD and the plenary frission of urges culminated in the closing of eyes and a dream about impressing the paratroopers by riding a motorcycle out of the back of an airplane.

-one would think a little altercentric subconscious intrusion would do you good-

No luck.  In my sleep I had texted "My house is a homeless shelter" to Amanda.  She hadn’t responded.  Not likely even her number any more. 

-what’s that even mean???-

I stumbled out as the morning sun was painting bright pastels across the skyline and found Lopez and Peggy still there, on the couch where I’d left them.  Lopez was vaguely pontificating in a monotone, Peggy said good morning and asked if she could let the cats in.

       “Yeah, you want us should let your cats in?” asketh Lopez.  “They’re freezing.  Why are they even outside?”

"They're not my cats." 

-ha!-