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sometimes we yearn for The Feed innately

although we question it's motives

    know that expressing emotions is the best course

instead we turn to The Feed

we dream of trains

we don't need much 

caped superheroes, 20 minute recipes, AI recitations

we remember with sentimentality 

the pendulum of redemption

not noticing the way the world smells different after

your first paycheck, lost your virginity, Covid

we churn in The Feed

like a boats trawling the dark 

raspy breath of chaos

heaven's withered garden

you will never again be the person you are today

but have you yet clicked to see my hot take on Senate Dems?

what has The Feed given us?

noise, the illusion of unity, distraction, cookies

and what has The Feed taken?

revenue, attention, mystery

ah, the atonal frequencies of time

from naked passion to the nakedness of revulsion, 

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this comes at the cost of connection

    lost connection? we have profound presence 

as illustrated by

the domestic quarrel with a pair of weaponized shears

what sacrifice at altars of style

is worth the sweet orgasmic oblivion of life

why did we stream that interview about 

woman's loss of autonomy & capacity for ecstacy after childbirth? 

mob violence in Nicaragua?  

racial bias in preschoolers?

perhaps the answers swirl in The Feed

we strike back against death, launch the app, press search

Nine New Notifications.

"You know what you did to me."

Recently Active

"I swear."

Click Here.

"Don't"

Scroll.

"I'm sorry."

Refresh.

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Crucial Truths of Science

I feel like my life is a stage-set
and I have just emerged from a black cave
a cavernous expanse of frilly wigs and costume tails
and other dusty identities that no one dares wear anymore
into the snare of acidulous spot-light
with absolutely no idea what to say

Woke up exhausted this morning.  Dreams of boys I used to love.  Not anymore.  Slipped off like antimatter, out of space and time and into something else.  Me, today.  Smoking the hours away and cleaning up the mess with the smell of bleach.  One day is fine, I can take a shit and think nothing of it.  But when a week of shit piles up there's not enough bleach to really scrub out the stains.  And we're getting to that my boy.  We're getting to that.

Whispering  things like "bullseye" and "follow the money," these solitons travel down the perfect railroad track at a constant speed.
Sooner or later these networks will erode and you'll forget me and I'll forget me.  Remember something else.  Always something else isn't there?  My Dad says so.  There's always something else.  You'd be surprised.

I handed out little slips of paper to everyone I know.
"Why is he wearing a mask?" the ones I didn't know asked their friends I knew even less.  I gave the slips of paper to them too.

I'm sorry.

It said.  Girls, you know?  I've known them all my life.  We meet and we become good friends and we go our seperate ways.  It's really quite beautiful.  Girls are beautiful and impervious to change.  So full of will.  So full of love for their cats and sleeping dogs dreaming babies and this and that.  A thousand pictures that I put down on the table and smoke the ether of the day away exhausted.  Back in the days of high school I loved one.  Went on stage and couldn't remember my line.  Who's sleeping with who?  Which boy loves me?  I don't know anything figure it out yourself these drugs aren't working right I don't feel anything good except the urge to go to sleep and even its not that strong maybe not wake up.  You can't give me a promise of hope can you?  Didn't think so.  Animal cruelty.  Impure food additives.  Don't hand the paper back, you can keep it, it's my gift to you.  Sorrow.

The stage is bare.  The mountains daunt and clap.  The sky is empty.  My hair is long.  Hair grows out of the strangest places.  Shower shave and shit.  Tiles bleached to infinity.  Train turnstiles loom like crusty mountains.  That's good right?
The sound of someone laughing while they're tied down on the tracks?
That's drama.
The perfect train tracks.  The empty sky. Aw fuck it I'm going