Unfunny Island

Late last night... possibily early this morning...

DMsqdMn17: I am an unfunny island.

YourSeaDreams: sad times
DMsqdMn17: Sad times indeed

YourSeaDreams: my soon to-be ex-boyfriend tells bad jokes
DMsqdMn17: Telling bad jokes is like being the Maytag repairman

YourSeaDreams: The phone just won't ring?
DMsqdMn17: No. You can't get laid.

Bad jokes are dated jokes. Maytag repairman? What was I thinking? That's like making a Nancy Pelosi joke to be 'topical and relevant'.

DMsqdMn17: You should make your boyfriend stay with. Use a combination of sweet talk and forceful threats and maybe a leash.
YourSeaDreams: ha i tried sweet talk. i tried threats. and ultimatums. so i guess i will need a leash
DMsqdMn17: Also, telling him you talked to me might help. Personally, speaking as a guy, I only seem to be able to articulate how much I want to be with people once they're no longer available
YourSeaDreams: i have many other secret boyfriends though. not just you

Hint. It's not her. Massive Narrative collusion just there though.
Why exactly am I talking to this girl?

DMsqdMn17: like 5? 7? How many guys are we talking about here?
YourSeaDreams: 13. but it's never enough.
YourSeaDreams: i have a problem. i like the chase too much
YourSeaDreams: it's sad.
DMsqdMn17: Sad times indeed
YourSeaDreams: the chase is sweeter than the actual fruit in your hands.
DMsqdMn17: The grass is always greener on the other side
YourSeaDreams: i guess. i'd like not to think so.

And now for something completely different...

DMsqdMn17: Hey, speaking of, um, things, did you know that it's been exactly 4 years since this day last year?
YourSeaDreams: wow that's deep
DMsqdMn17: Try not to think too much about it, it's late.
DMsqdMn17: Woah. It's not Wednesday anymore.
YourSeaDreams: its not even thurs anymore
DMsqdMn17: Shit. Well since I missed it, let's play a game. I just thought of a Game!
YourSeaDreams: late game day?
DMsqdMn17: OyayesK: Here are the rules:
DMsqdMn17: 1st: you say something you did today that was bad
DMsqdMn17: 2nd: you say something you did today that was good
DMsqdMn17: 3rd: winners are announced!
DMsqdMn17: Sound good?

HOKGOH!

YourSeaDreams: 1. i flirted with you
YourSeaDreams: 2. i gave my brother 50 bucks to buy headphones
YourSeaDreams: 3. you go.
DMsqdMn17: 1. I like a girl who is not available, and I've been trying to steal her away for myself
DMsqdMn17: 2. I wrote a sonnet!
DMsqdMn17: 3. You win. Well done. $50 grand prize. yay.
YourSeaDreams: wait. how did i win?
DMsqdMn17: I asked the judges: Dennis Mastman, David M. Wearsamask, and Donald Masqdmannerson. They agreed unanimously in your innate superiority. Congrats.
YourSeaDreams: wow. really? thanks
DMsqdMn17: Plus, it's kind of ironic that you were out fifty bucks and now you've won it back
YourSeaDreams: i enjoy irony.
YourSeaDreams: and you.
DMsqdMn17: *teehee* *blush*
YourSeaDreams: you're funny like a 13 year old prostitute
DMsqdMn17: um. Ouch. That's painful.
DMsqdMn17: the analogy. not the prostitute
YourSeaDreams: hey i know a lot of funny 13 years old prostitutes....
DMsqdMn17: like 5? or 7? 13? Do you know thirteen 13yr olds?
YourSeaDreams: yes. they're nearly of age
DMsqdMn17: I feel sick, a little bit, in my conscience.
YourSeaDreams: DON'T!
DMsqdMn17: Ha. You should be a doctor
DMsqdMn17: "Fuck medicine," she'll say, "I prevent maladies by just telling my patients not to get sick."
YourSeaDreams: ha ha ha

And you thought weekly game days weren't coming back to save me from the depths of my own dementia... yay!

YourSeaDreams: can i send you a poem about calligraphy?
DMsqdMn17: Oooh! wait wait, I just wrote about calligraphy today in my sonnet!
YourSeaDreams: weird
YourSeaDreams: last time i talked to you i mentioned a llama and you had written about a llama in a poem
DMsqdMn17: I write lots of poems, maybe
YourSeaDreams: weird.
DMsqdMn17: more poems than one should, about odd topics
DMsqdMn17: Oh, speaking of letters, here's some letters that (make me sad because) I wrote while I was gone, to fictionalized versions of real people, who I knew would never see them.
DMsqdMn17: http://damasquedman.livejournal.com/2007/10/25/
YourSeaDreams: wow. fictionalized versions of real people....also oddly deep (or it maybe because it's 230 in the morning)
DMsqdMn17: It's only 1:30 here. Is Shallow the appropriate opposite to Deep?
YourSeaDreams: yes depending on the context
DMsqdMn17: The Dry MaskedMan 2AM rhetorical martini context
YourSeaDreams: ha ha. then of course it does. you are a gem!

Later, but still early this morning…

YourSeaDreams: i think you should write me a jealousy-provoking letter, too
DMsqdMn17: I think, maybe I should go now
DMsqdMn17: neurons are startin' to misfire
YourSeaDreams: oh ok....sad!
DMsqdMn17: Sad times indeed