No Remorse for The Ravaged Casualties of Love

People SUCK. Seriously, they are stupid and they suck. I am filled with scalding rage!

OK scalding rage is a bit dramatic. Still. I'm mad. At people.
Why?

Because they whine about not being able to find someone to love. Grr.

I know what they say about believing in something and getting it, but that’s bullshit! I believe in CAKE and there’s no CAKE in front of me!

And another thing that grits my gristle: How come everytime I walk into a Bank somebody pulls the security alarm?
Maybe it has something to do with me wearing a mask but lots of people wear masks! Jim Carey. Elton John. Gerard Butler!

It's just frustrating is all. And a frustration that would easier to handle if I had a girlfriend.
I was going out with this one girl for a while. But then she called the cops on me.

"I’m not your girlfriend, Weirdo!" She yelled. And then once the cops showed up I had to explain to them that I had NOT just robbed a bank. I'd been to Fisherman's Wharf with my girlfriend. "Right Sweetie?"
"Leave me ALONE Creepwad!"

So I guess I'm single.

I Really want to go out on a date with Mari Naomi. When we break up I can be a major inspiration for her art. But even then I wouldn't complain. WE ALL get broken up with. We all ride the Bumpy road to love.

But at least I don't whine and moan about it.

SuppleSextusCinString: i’m lonely when i’m all alone
DaMasquedMan17: Buzzkill.

SuppleSextusCinString: i ge t sad when i'm lonely. and being around people jus makes it worse
DaMasquedMan17: Take me now God!

SuppleSextusCinString: dude! im never going to meet any one!

See??? That really wears on a guy! To hear that shit. And it seems like all of my friends are lovelorn lately. It's Spring PEOPLE! Pollinate 'n Shit! Get it ONNNN with your reproductin' Bad Selves!

Christ. Even Doug (my buddy Doug is a scientist) is feeling it. "I want to have sex, but I don't," he told me yesterday over brunch in Pac Heights. "For one, I don't know anybody. And if I did I don't want kids. So why have sex? There are no practical results."

“Listen Doug,” I pleaded, "sex is like physics. Just because it gives some practical results, that isn’t the reason we do it?”

"It isn’t?"

"No Doug. It isn't. Why do we do Physics Doug?"

"Because it continually provides new and fascinating insights into the slowly unravelling world that are beautiful, hopeful, and unparalleled."

"That’s right. Because it makes you happy. Just like Sex Doug. Sex Makes you Happy! Go have sex! Go! Go!"

"Can I finish my Danish?"

"NOOOO!"