Bursal Bruit

SliceOGringo: iF you Destroy something your left with something Beautiful.
DMsqdMn17: If you destroy, you're left with nothing
SliceOGringo: There is Beauty IN the Abyss

this from a conversation a few weeks ago.
Back before the lights dimmed
and the radiance of college-bound boys practiced their disquisitions and quarterly algorithms in the corner. 
Back before a symphony of sabotage eclipsed all else solid and I'm left
looking at things I can't see. 
Seeing things I can't touch,
little soaps in the hotel bathroom,
trees in the laurel park, 
murders out in Webster chronicled with painfully accrued detail next to
Dilbert and Doonesbury and
my breakfast Koran.

And indeed,
We will make that which is upon it
[into] a barren ground.
Surah al-Kahf

Drunk.
I am, again.  Because I don't have to work tomorrow.
Because she left like a reflex and I couldn't look at myself in the mirror
Unless everybody else could do the same
SuppleCinStringSextus: TO the Bar it IS!
DMsqdMn17: What is life, if not Reality TV?

On the TV, PBS Kids swims through my milky grapenuts.  A purple monster.  A sandblown montage of fish.  There are dolphins swimming in my brain and when the tuna nets of thoughts cast out and kill them they will make no sound.  No sound at all.

Drive. Again.
I have decided.
Numb on numberless steering roads.
Because you choose despair when all is echoed in shadows,
and the chosen veer
could disquiet the fragmented spirits of God in your ear
saying "Take the next left, right" now
take a sandwich.  Some green for later. 

Afterward, in the big room
Under the bats incising angles in their grand cathedral sky
I will smoke fumes
and flare diamond will be me.

No sound at all.
Back to the dark garden, the well springs
back to the sea
Seeing things I cannot touch
and moaning in solitude at the shimmered tapestry of vision
which is longing and emptiness and nothing.