Leér frivolidades sexúal

You know when you and another guy are both flirting with the same girl and you both keep talking to her while subtly insulting one another?

When it comes to courting with wit alone you will never win. How do I know that? Because you’re not me and my wits alone aren't enough. And I am smarter than you. How do I know this? Because I wear a mask.

You want the girl to be yours but don’t have the Grammatic Gumption or the Tomcatish Tricksterisms that’ll make her desire you over thine competitorés?

Gentlemen, there is a better way.

Don’t woo her with your wiles, use your willy:

try
SEX GAMES
yaysexgames

WellAuraAnderson: think maybe you should preface this first
DMskdMn17: That's probably the right idea

WellAuraAnderson: ok good go me

Lesson No. 1: Be in the Know

Brilliant, comforting Don Juan sex-gods aren’t born, they are made. Granted some guys are plain old wickud smaht when it comes to handling persons of the opposite sex, most of us need constant training, tips and pointers. Try out the trade periodicals first (Maxim, Playboy, my blog) before moving on to Dr. Spock's How-To Guides and other technical readouts. (Going in blind is like shoveling snow with a pitchfork... it's not going to get you very much)

Lesson No. 2: Go Slow

Just because sexual energies flow between two people doesn’t mean you should hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. Before iniating in any sort of sex game or foreplay, scout it out first. Foreplay is a long drawn out process lasting not minutes but possibly days weeks or years.

You cannot flatter too much. She has to be ready to play the game. And when it's time to get down and dirty we want you firing on all cylinders but by that we mean the ones in your head as well as in your pants. So nothing rash that you'll regret. (Oh man I've got a rash that I regret!)

Lesson No. 3: Try Something Radical

Some people shower the ones they love with love. I say just shower with the ones you love. Naked. Lather it up.

Making a fool of yourself will not be the end of all Mankind. With that in mind, don't limit yourself to just these games. Go out and make up your own. Take pictures of them. Experiment. Then tell me about it so I can steal the ideas, and send me the pictures. (I'm a bit of a MsqdPerv.)

And now, our feature presentation:

Game One: e-Sexpense
Directions: Send an email to your partner days in advance. Make it a story, a secret, a confession.
The next day send another. A fear, a love - anything.
Be sure to be honestly and remain fairly anonymous.
Make your next email a specific desire, and a specific promise.
Lay out explicitly what you want and want you are going to give.

Trust me, if done right, there is no way to lose this game.

Game Two: Game Names
Directions: The following is a list of Names for coital positions and manuevers. Pick one name at random that your partner will have to execute for you, then reverse and let your partner choose a name for you to decide how to act out. This is one where imagination comes in handy.
Just the tip
Juice Squeeze
The Helicopter
Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect)
Yes Sir
Sunrise, Sunset
The Gaza Strip
Radio Dial Tuner
Chernobyl Sump Pump
Walk the Dog
Pineapple Cocktail
Global Warming
Fish Taco
The Bottle Opener
Camel's Hump
Fighfighter Pole Slide
Seismic Activity
The Bill Paxton

For Bonus Points, create your own list using only words or short phrases found in the "Entertainment/ Living" sections of your local paper. And speaking of finding things...

Game Three: Naked Hide and Seek
Directions: Sometimes the simplest of things yield the greatest rewards. Best done in a small soft and safe environment like a Hotel Room or a Padded Work Our Area, the name pretty much blows the load on what this game is about. Strip down, hide your bad self, and wait for some naked honey to seek you out.

Seek and ye shall find...