That Guy

We started this week with a botched plan and hit the ground running.
It turned out okay. I suppose most things do.

Now we’ll end the week with some quotes
from last night’s phenomenal episode of
(and promise you won’t shoot me)
Grey’s Anatomy

Meredith:
The thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected. Sometimes we're thrown a curve ball -- whether it's in the O.R. or in life -- we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to Plan B and make the best of it. And sometimes what we want is exactly what we need, but sometimes... Sometimes what we need isn't a plan.

Sometimes.

Beneath buildings that scrape the sky
Around Five I watch the passersby

Rarely making eye to eye

Men in suits, poor women who cry

Skateboard punks, the happy hour barfly

Do they see me as I spy?

Do they ask “Who was that guy?”

Who was that guy?

I'm the guy with the uncombed hair.
The guy who's coat is unraveling and jeans aren't torn because its the latest hipshot from the canon of fashion. They’re just torn.
I’m that guy. The guy who doesn't matter as much as you (or he) thinks. I'm that guy.

Sometimes.

Every day has had this weird haze of melancholic nostalgia over it.
Sometimes I think I dropped out of school last week.

But when I look at my friends I realize it was so very long ago. So much has happened.
I like making new friends and I miss the old ones who are away. So much has happened.

diffusion of heat

smoothing of irregularities

tangents of your space

equipped, defined around

an inner product of mine

expand negatively curved regions

each deformed metric

my fingers trace over

sectional curvatures

when various notions such as

volume and area

emerge and diverge

with nothing to do with physical time

we coexist as a function

sufficiently bundled

in geometric revolution

as geometric evolution

I met her in a moment that instantly changed the plan.

In my life right now the girl does not factor herself in. A coordinate just off the grid.
A plot twisting right off the binding of the book. Onto the desk, through the window, to a new state.

In a state of mind that he suffers from. A dark state of mind that breaks over him like oil.
I am that guy.

Counting squares on the sidewalk and cross multiplying diamonds in the chain link fence. I’m that guy.
When he speaks he does not look up. Frightened, perhaps, by the flat sound of his voice in the thin morning air. I'm that guy.

And to think I was all like, "Man look at me. I'm rockin' out on the radio!” But plans change. So much has happened.
So many words that could never have been said.

Words I want to say to you.
Words that shrivel in my throat and die before ever breathing the light of day

Izzie: Messing up... It's what makes a person. It's how we learn. Where we find joy in the things you didn't plan for... things you never see coming

I want to be who I was. Back to Plan B, no, before it then past it. Call it plan C, where I learned everything you taught me without you ever having been here.

Where you ever even here?

Sometimes.

The kid who sat in the back of class and made slouching seem impressive. The kid who shrieked with genuine joy at really bad puns and made the name "jerk-off" sound like a compliment. I was that kid. I am that guy.

I can be that guy.