Ripping Away Masks of Squandered Time
I want to plan my life,
attempt to jump to the other side of the world.
In one fell swoop
Because I don’t think I could make it
If this leap falls short
and I have to attempt to climb up again
Feeling like I need to find some kind of direction in my life. Right now I'm a sitting duck who's doing just what he always said he wouldn't: dropped out of school and working full-time in a deadendjob. I want to get away but I don't know where an uneducated scrub can find work! And I can not ever attend WSU ever again. Ever. Because that would be too hard at this point. I need something new. Where can I go that's away from New England that won't cost me a lot of money? What can I do that will be memorable and exciting?
there is more to life than
sitting in a cube for forty hours a week
breathing re-ventilated air
working for the man.
- I am known to cavort around the steep precarious sidewalks of SF. Having friendly conversations with the 'so called shadows in the alleys' despite the bone-chilling fog and hilly topography for which San Francisco is so well known.
- I wear dark and mysterious masques!
- I am known to fall fast in love with big 11 dollar words.
- I am known for my rabid bandwagon jumping; espousing how manga robots are the new pirates are the new ninjas are the new astronauts are the new cowboys...
- I have developed an advanced epicurean sensual palate, instead of the girls I used to dig (who were so cheap you could pay a buck for a blowjob and get change!)
"His mouth teased hungrily across hers, and she wished the moment would never end… " It does not matter. Listen World, Speak to me. Like a quiet piece of mind in the untouchable deep blue sky So near, yet so far. Feed me facts that no scientist could describe. All obstacles eventually yield. I keep forgetting life’s little ironies. When I was in school I wanted so badly to be out – now that I'm out I yearn to relive it again. And do it right this time! Although lately I create all the time. Stories, comics, poems. I'm always reading. Whereas when I was in school it was only after I started stressing and spending 6-8 hours in the library that I could bring myself to study for finals. It's time to go back to square one. I'm in the process of becoming something different. Something that is not this that I am. I'm letting myself evolve. I'm tired of labels and definitions. I'm tired of categories, of being strictly this or that. I'm going to start something today that might end up changing my life. Affirming my direction. I don't wish to talk about it too much, because I would really enjoy surprising everyone. And if I fail, then nobody really knows about it. Except what I've said here. In this paragraph. one day,
Let your words whisper through the air
Sweet nothings.
Tell me stories.
Ones I've never heard about.Ask me questions without proven answers
Dance your flying ghosts just out of reach in the white ruffled cloudsSo I can watch and listen
And learn
Lessons are always learned in the end. As much as I write down my goals and what I want to do, Change will happen. Summer school is in a month and a half, in July, which is a bittersweet month. But I cannot burden myself with that weight… like the stars in their courses must fly.
No more putting off school.
No more putting off life.
I'll just disappear and
run towards the end of the earth,
without saying anything.