Multiverse

Kurt Vonnegut started off Cat's Cradle by pointing out that none of the story is true.
What a great idea. I am in love with this idea.
Might rip it off sometime

Call me misguided but I have my scruples. The Masked Man gives the people what they want. I'm not lucid. I have no qualms about who I am.

or, had.
Until this morning.

I'm a male escort and I didn't even know it

I'm a piece of furniture and I didn't even know it

A bracelet

A wall decoration

A business model

A part of the problem

A variable in a Macro Spreadsheet

A sound byte

A body in the next barstool

and I didn't even know it.

"You're special" "You're Unique" "You are loved" "Your Job is Important" "You deserve it" "You're worth it" "You have a voice" "You have rights"

We fill ourselves with all these little Motivational Platitudes but when it all comes down to it we're no more than we appear to be in the eyes of those sitting next to us.

Peripheral at best. Everyone's at the center of their own universe.

Masks holding us down.

I'm not really 19 y'know. I'm actually much much, much much younger and this is all an act that I'm playing out, imagining that I'm a 30 year old masquerading as a 18 year old who is really 20 and has dropped out of college to pursue a radio career but has gotten sidetracked by a series of professional and romantic endeavors that lead ultimately no where and fast.

I'm not really a man y'know. I'm actually a sasquatch living out my retirement in a nice little cottage I bought repossessed from the government, previously owned by the Unibomber and I sit around all day rehashing his manifesto.

I'm not really slogging through the blogging lieu of profundities on a daily basis.

A man in a mask with a blog on the internet? C'mon! More like a scatological hobo taking a dump on the train and yelling at strangers to look at it.

Until This Morning.

And I thought that it all meant something. Have I been living a lie? Have Nigel's little deceptions finally caught up to me? Has this weird identity paradigm shattered like a pyramid of playing cards, or was there ever really a structure to collapse?

I thought I was who I thought I was

And now, I'm thinking I'm not.