I I I

I started this post off writing about all the crappy things going on in my life right now. An hour later I realized that thats stupid and I shouldnt be complaining.
I feel like if I over focus on the bad stuff then nothing good will happen.

We all come across as far more intelligent on-screen than in real life. With just that splitsecond longer to think over our words.
(This is your opportunity to say "I thought you were pretty stupid on-screen.")

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I have about two styles of conversation; deep and silly... and perhaps a combination of the two.
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For we must admit that flat people are not in themselves as big achievement as round ones, and also that they are best when they are comic. A serious or tragic flat character is apt to be a bore. Each time he enters crying 'Revenge!' or 'My heart bleeds for humanity!' or whatever his formula is, our hearts sink." (from Aspects of the Novel) E.M. Forster

Like, sometimes I want to sit down and tell the world about how I likes to have sex in a kiddie pool full of Cool Whip while wearing a diaper.... but then I invariably end up bemoaning how the sad distinctive sky roborantly pushes me unbidden into the next soft sad stage of my life

I'm so sick of everything.
Suddenly everything comes crashing down, like how a computer crashes. 

All this Writing, Wailing and Women... these faux pregnant moments filled with sniggers and earnest façades.

There's a post it over my computer that says

Stop.

Breathe.

And it's good that it's there. I need to be reminded sometimes. 
Because we are all comprised of such vast indosyncrasies.  And breathing is one of the best ways to resolve them.  Think of yourself like a balloon, crinkled up and wrapped all over itself.  One fold is anger and one is sadness and one is my rants and the other is my stupid Haiku... and really all they need to resolve their differences is for teh balloon to be filled with air.
To breathe.

The other alternative is my standard mode d'operacion.
Put a mask over it.  Cover it up.  Pretend everything is ok.

Either fill the balloon up from the inside or coat it with papier machee that'll crust over and retain its same shape forever, or until some kid crushes it and it dies.

And look at that.  I said I wasn't going to get all crappy about the things in my life right now and that's exactly what I've done.





I'ma go.